Well, for those of you who don't already know, which should be few, our little one we were expecting went to be with Jesus on March 6th. It's been a rocky few days, but with an underlying steady foundation. Our hearts are broken, but held together even while in pieces by the love of a heavenly Father who sees, hears, and knows our hearts. He has not failed us. Even in our grief, He has given us no choice but to feel His strong arms wrapped around us - through His promises, and through our family and friends (you!).
This may sound odd to some of you, but it has been a part of my processing this, and surprised me a little. While I was undoubtedly more than just a little excited to find out we were expecting our first child, there was a part of me that was disappointed that I wasn't MORE excited. That is the part that may sound odd. The thing is, I've walked through so many of my friends' pregnancies with them, that I felt I already knew what to expect - that the "new" had already worn off, even though I'd never been through the experience first-hand. I have to say, after having lost such a precious gift, if we are to be so blessed in the future, that "new" glow is going to be fresh every day until we are able to meet our child in the flesh!
That little tidbit aside, I still long for what might have been - for that little one that was, well - is, our child, but that we will never hold here on earth. I look forward to the day when I step through to eternity and see a face that I've never seen before, but already know - smiling and welcoming me home.
Thank you all for loving us enough to walk with us through the peaks and valleys. We can't express how much we love you.
